Even so, I need a new phone
by GenuinelyNot87
Summary: Before Hachiman started High School, he switched to an iPhone. How did he come into terms with his current iPhone 4s? Actually, even how he switched his phone is as wrong as expected. One-shot.
**Even so, I need a new phone...**

A flying cherry blossom flies by without hitting my face as I bike towards the nearest mall. The density of teenagers passing by around me seems to be higher than usual, likely because it's spring break already, the time of the year where normal teenagers toss away their school worries and are now able to live their so-called "youth" more freely for a whole month.

What's so good about a month break between school years, though? It's just one fucking month, not even enough for me to prepare equipment for Alatreon[1] and to catch up on the anime I missed. I envy those other countries with a two month break between school years instead of one.

Anyway, the reason for the lack of leisure in my past schedule is because of me going Super Saiyan in my senior high school entrance exams. I just recently finished junior high school, and unlike normal people who choose the high school where their so called friends are also going, I solemnly dedicated myself to get accepted into a school where the chance of encountering a past batchmate is close to zero, along with the mutual benefit of good academic standards. Basically, I chose to study senior high school in a high standard school, specifically Soubu High. Now don't ask why! I might wanna kill myself if you remind me of all the shit I done in junior high! Let a cynic have a fresh start for once!

My train of thought stopped as I saw the mall's sign. I parked my bike and began walking into the mall.

Why did I go to the mall again?

Oh right! I need a new phone.

Don't get me wrong, my old flip phone is still working and even with touchscreens apparently dominating the international market recently, flip phones are still not close to being obsolete here in Japan, so there's really no good logical reason for me to change my phone.

However, just by looking at this phone, my darkest memories back in junior high hit me as hard as Whitney's Miltank's Rollout[2]. Yes, THAT hard!

As a cynic, im not really one to dwell on the past. I don't actually regret my past. It's just that there's still this lingering humiliating feeling inside me that I can't extinguish whenever junior high comes up.

Darn it, I wanna kill myself.

I was brought back to reality as my instinctively moving legs had already brought me in front a cellphone store. I stared at the flip phones displayed at the store window.

Shit! Why do I feel that same humiliating feeling again? Did I just develop a phobia towards flip phones? Fliphobia, maybe?

Alright, for the sake of my sanity, I should cross out flip phones from my list. Then again, that would leave me with very few options. The only phones left that I could see from this window are the bar phones with only a numeric keypad, bar phones with QWERTY keypads, and standing out among them at the middle, the phones called Blackberry.

Not too shabby, it seems, though I wonder...

Why are there only pink and gold ones?!

Wait, calm down, Hachiman. They may still have stock for the other colors inside. So I went in the shop, ringing the chimes above the door.

"And here ma'am, you'll see how smooth the animations are as you use this. With Blackberry's enhanced pixel density, texting and watching videos will always be a feast to your eyes."

The techie shop owner continues as the girl customer looked dumbfounded yet fascinated. The shop owner seems to be around his mid-thirties. He wore a red V-neck sweater over his shirt, collars sticking out. He had loose beige pants and white sneakers. He also had these specs with a rectangular silver frame, along with brown straight laid-down hair. His build is pretty skinny for a man his age.

Damn, now this is an example of a nerd. Or was it a geek? Whatever, they mean the same, I hope. No wait, don't hope. Hope throws you to disappointment!

"Oooo, I'll take it then! It looks wonderful! How much for it?"

"Only 50000 yen for you, ma'am."

Oi, oi, oi. Young lady, you shouldn't be fascinated by shallow unfamiliar words like that. Hoping for something positive from mere words would only make a fool out of you.

Then again, I'm no tech-savvy, so I can't really tell what makes a phone a good value for your money. And I don't really care for someone I don't know. All you blind optimists should just rot in a corner! All of you! Fuck your "youth"!

As I stood there, the girl made her purchase and after a while, walked to my direction towards the shop door, passing by me without turning a glance.

Totally ignored, huh? Not that I'm not used to it.

"And what can I do for you, handsome young man?"

Heh, that's one of the 121 skills of marketing right there, customer flattery...

Sorry, but it won't work on me. You could call me a Ghost-type[3], immune to Normal moves like yours.

"Um, yeah. I was wondering if you have other colors for that Blackberry."

"Oh, sorry, sir! We're out of stock for the black and white models. Rose gold and gold are the only ones left."

Shit! If I buy either of those, people might start calling me Hiki-gay again.

"Uh, do you have any other phone that can get the job done QUICKLY and is EASY to use, and that is NOT a flip phone?"

I put emphasis on those three words. To work is lose. I really hate work even if it's just with my phone. I really don't like repeatedly pressing number buttons just to get to a certain character. The less energy I have to waste to get something done, the better.

"Oh, sounds like you need a smartphone with at least 1 gigabyte of random access memory, 8 GB of internal storage, at least 2 central processing units, and a top-notch user-friendly user interface!"

Here we go, the nerd talk. Or should I say geek talk? Whatever. Doesn't matter. I seriously don't get any of these tech stuffs.

The thing about nerds (or geeks, whatever) is that they're always proud of bragging their knowledge, even if it's obvious that the one they're talking to doesn't even understand. A normal optimist would simply be fascinated by a nerd's use of words, like that girl earlier, but if it's someone egoistic or at least have a good sense of realism, like yours truly, they would instantly have a sense of disgust within them. I mean, seriously, why talk about some complicated shit to someone when you're the only one who would understand? That's just a one-sided egotistical conversation. What the fuck happened to making the complex things simpler for everyone to understand and benefit from? Man, those famous scientists sure are big liars.

The nerdy shop owner continued with an even louder voice, "I would suggest a mid-end full touchscreen smartphone. Either an Android smartphone or an iPhone. I recommend an Android one, though. They're more versatile and mostly cheaper!"

Where is all of this enthusiasm coming from?! People beyond the windows are gonna hear you!

"May I have a look at them?"

The shop owner instantly raises his arm and points towards a window of phone to my right.

"90 degrees to your right, sir."

Please no math! I get it already, you're smart. You're a genius. You're the next Einstein.

Then again, that's pretty much elementary knowledge. Almost everyone who's properly educated knows that. Though, there's really no point in using those numbers in real life speech. You will only end up showing off your brains despite them not even close to Alakazam's IQ[4].

Changing my direction, I walked towards the said window and looked at the smartphones of various brands. The tags show their brands as Lenovo, Xiaomi, HTC, Samsung, Acer, and the such.

Man, that's a lot of brands, but still...

Aren't they too big?

I wouldn't like to use two hands just to use a phone. Not that I actually text anyone besides Komachi and my mom. But EMERGENCIES! Just in case my other hand gets cut off!

"Umm, do you have anything smaller?"

The owner puts his palm below his chin and began speaking with a lot less enthusiastic voice.

"Well, the smaller Android smartphones aren't really that reliable. They get bugs pretty often and their features are a letdown. The smaller functional smartphones, on the other hand, are already out of stock here and even at the other stores nearby. Touchscreens are really dominating the market now. Technology just grows up too fast!"

At that last sentence, he looked like he sobbed for a moment. Looks like technology is like a son to him.

As much as I wanna admire his fascination on technology, he just looked a bit too pathetic.

Just go find a wife, for fuck's sake!

"But there's still this one option, though it would be on the iPhone side. They're less versatile but their very user-friendly user interface compensates for it!"

At that moment, the guy instantly grabbed a phone displayed behind the counter and showed it about an inch to my face in mere seconds.

Hey, hold it! You could kill me with that!

"I present the iPhone 5, the latest iPhone with LTE support, LED-backlid IPS LCD, Gorilla Glass screen, dual core A6 processor, triple-core graphics, 1GB RAM, 16 to 64 GB internal memory, 8 MP back camera with support for 1080p recording at 30 FPS, and of course, a 1.2 MP selfie cam."

The only thing I understood was the selfie cam!

Though that could be useful as a substitute for a mirror.

"It can play good games smoothly, by the way," he said slyly.

Wait, games? Good games? Smoothly? I'm in! If the phone could also become a PSP, then shut up and take my money!

Wait a second, Hachiman. Price. Don't forget the price.

With that, I calmed my inner self down and asked him with my usual tone.

"How much for this?"

"Only 70000 yen."

Shit!

I can't believe I almost fell for it.

If he actually succeeded in making me say "I'll buy it," then I would only find out about the price later and gape like an idiot before he shows his irritating disappointed face to me since I only have 50000 yen, which is as far as I can go from begging to my mother for my reward in passing Soubu High's entrance exams.

"I kinda like it, but do you have anything... cheaper?"

He instantly frowned when I said that. Heh, sorry, but your attempt to make me feel guilty and actually buy it is futile!

He puts back the iPhone on the display shelf and then opens a cabinet under the counter.

He seems to be looking for something now.

Waiting, I looked at my watch to check on the time and it seems I've been here for almost half an hour already.

Hurry up! You're making me lose extra time for farming materials for my solo fight with Alatreon!

"Eureka!"

He shouts as he raises a white box up to the sky like he just got a badge from a gym leader.

Keep it down, will you?

"Today's your lucky day, my friend. There happens to be one last stock of a previous generation iPhone, which happens to be cheaper since it's older!"

At that moment, he puts the box on the counter table, exposing the text on its side to my direction as he slowly raises the box lid like curtains.

"Here is the phone for you – the white iPhone 4s! Now only 45000 yen!"

And just like that, I got my new phone...

* * *

After some checking on the phone and its accessories, I paid the guy 45000 just like he said. He seemed to be happy about himself after my purchase.

"Name?"

"Hikigaya Hachiman."

"Thank you for your purchase, Chiman!"

He thanked me as he typed my name on the counter keyboard to prepare the receipt.

Wait, you forgot the Ha- at the beginning!

Well, not like having my name right on the receipt could change anything.

Besides, I wouldn't wanna exert effort just to correct my name for no benefit.

"Here's your receipt. Have a good day!"

I nodded as I turned to walk towards the door with my new phone in a plastic bag.

Come to think of it, I'm not really fond of a white phone. I kinda want it to be as blue as my old flip phone.

So I rapidly turned back my direction to ask.

"Hey, do you have any kind of blue back cover for this phone?"

As enthusiastically as he did before, he handed me a blue solid yet comfortable to the touch back casing. I brought out my phone and fit the casing in.

"Beautiful."

Wait, what did I just mutter? Fuck you, brain and your involuntary movement. Hopefully, the guy in front of me didn't hear my muttering.

I looked up to verify, and it seemed like he was... crying?

"Oi, what's wrong?"

"OH! Nothing! It's just that..."

He wipes his tears before he continued...

"I'm just proud to see someone happy about Mr. Jobs' last phone again..."

Mr. Jobs? Did he mean Steve Jobs? Didn't he already pass away some time ago?

The way he addressed that famous former CEO of Apple does hint something. Mr. Jobs, huh.

I get it.

Judging by his looks and enthusiastic attitude on presenting to me the iPhone, he must have worked for Steve back then when he was still breathing. And it seems like this iPhone 4s is the last iPhone model released before he died. The former's just a speculation though.

He stared at the ceiling afterwards.

"I miss working for him. He always told us that we will be great as long as we stay different. Those were good times."

There. My hunch was right. You can now call me the reincarnation of Kakashi[5]!

Nevertheless, he seemed grateful to Jobs for making him feel special because he's "different."

If I were in his shoes, I would surely feel the same.

I would have admired this "Steve Jobs" and worked non-stop to show to the world what we "differents" can do.

Hell, I might actually end up loving to work in the end.

Though there's no use thinking about it now.

He's already dead. Time to let go.

Again, the guy wipes his tears and quickly bent his head back to my direction.

"Sorry! I was just reminiscing! Pardon this man nearing his middle age crisis. Haha..."

That laugh at the end was surely fake. But the smile he showed after was something... I dunno... genuine?

Heh, I envy the guy.

He felt happy about his difference to the point of showing it off with full enthusiasm. He didn't care about what others think as long as he can find them what they want in the end and see them happy about what they got, especially when the product was by his old boss. He felt special because he has already found out that his difference that he may have once despised is actually capable of giving him a happy fulfilling life. And all this, because of that Steve Jobs.

Man, that's totally contrasting to what I read about him online. He's supposedly an egotistical perfectionist. Maybe that's because he just wants his product to end up being unique in the end? I really have no idea.

Seriously, I should never trust facts from the media.

After a short while, the guy finally stopped crying and grinned at me.

"Thanks again for your purchase, Mr. Chiman!"

For fuck's sake, the Ha-!

Nevertheless, I kinda enjoyed his pointless talk.

"Yeah, good day to you."

I slowly turned smiling and thought about something...

Will I ever meet a "Steve Jobs" in my life who would make me feel happy and fulfilling about my differences?

That would be nice. Really nice.

Just like that, as I exit the door, my eyes were captivated by a woman with long jet black hair and blue eyes, with skin as tender as snow. She's around my age, it seems. She passed through me, ignoring my existence as expected, and entered the shop, likely to buy a phone.

Now, now, Hachiman, don't hope that this is actually a fateful encounter of your future "Steve Jobs." Accept the cruel reality that you will never meet one and continue dreaming to be a househusband!

Alright, time to brag to Komachi about my new phone!

* * *

I miss Steve. I really do.

As I stared at the guy with fish eyes exit the door, I looked up again and spoke to the heavens, hoping Mr. Jobs would hear me...

"See that, Mr. Jobs. Another one liked the product we made."

My thoughts were broken as I heard the chimes at the door. Looks like another customer.

It was a girl around the same age as that guy with fish eyes. She had long jet black hair and blue eyes with skin as white as snow. She wore a tortoise sleeved blouse and dark blue jeans, along with white sandals. She seemed very mature for a girl her age. Ah yes, an early maturing youth.

"How can I help you, beautiful young lady?"

"I'm looking for an HTC One with 16GB capacity," she said with a poker face as her eyes scanned my shop before she turned to my direction.

"Oh, you mean the new HTC M7! We have some in stock. What color do you prefer?"

"I think I want a mix of white and pink."

"I see. Wait right there."

I opened the display closet for the HTC smartphone and got out a pink HTC M7 16GB model.

I think I should go show off the specs of this phone before selling it to her, but I already lost my mood after reminiscing about Mr. Jobs.

"Is this what you want?" I showed her the phone.

"Yes, that is indeed what I desired. I'll purchase it now."

This lady sure gives off a mademoiselle kind of vibe. Would fall for her if I were still her age. Alas, I'm just too old to get married now.

I brought the phone to the counter to accept her payment.

"That would be 75000 yen."

"Do you accept credit cards?"

"Of course."

"Here you go." She politely hands me over her credit card

I swiped the card and accepted her payment before I prepared the receipt.

"Name?"

She calmly swept her hair back and spoke with a voice as cold as ice...

"Yukinoshita Yukino."

 **~END~**

* * *

 _ **[1] Alatreon, a high tier monster in Monster Hunter**_

 _ **[2] Whitney's Miltank was one of the hardest Pokemon to beat in Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal/HG/SS**_

 _ **[3] Ghost-type Pokemon are immune to Normal-type moves**_

 _ **[4] Pokemon: Alakazam's IQ is roughly 5000**_

 _ **[5] Kakashi Hatake: one of his catchphrases is "Honestly, it's a hunch," and they usually end up being true at the end**_

 **Hope you enjoyed my first attempt at a fanfic!**

 **This was inspired by a post I made on reddit regarding the characters' smartphones so I just felt like making a fanfic on that for fun.**

 **Also, regarding the time setting, i decided to make the original series take place on 2015 (cuz WW's pretty much putting in anime references from 2015), so that minus 2 years, my story took place on 2013, and spring break in japan is around march. The latest iPhone at that time was the iPhone 5(non s), and Yukino's HTC M7 had just been released. so yeah, that's how it is.**

 **Another thing, I know for a fact that Yukino still uses a flip phone in the anime (S1). Just thought that maybe, judging by her personality, she's the type to constantly switch between her phones to her convenience, cuz i have both a motorola flip phone and an iphone, and i kinda do that too**

 **Let me hear your reviews.**


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